“His hanketsu really
turns me on!”
ほらね、彼の半ケツが
たまらないのよ！
“Hanketsu Part 1”Yuki Sembommatsu, edited by Louie
After three years living in Tokyo Kevin had finally mastered the art of walking down crowded streets without bumping into anybody. He was still not used to the unbearable summer heat and humidity.
Kevin spotted Luna’s crazy outfit the moment he entered the trendy cafe where they usually met. She was wearing a gaudy, and obviously very expensive haute couture. Her father always indulged her in these things.
Inside the air was freezing cold but his body, as automatically as breathing, adjusted to the temperature difference.
“Luna, what new obsession are you into these days?”, he asked the moment his coffee arrived.
HANKETSU－半ケツ Yuki Sembommatsu, Edited by Louie
三年も東京に住んでて、とうとうケビンはこんなに人の多い道でも、誰にもぶつからずに歩けるワザを身につけた。でもまだまだ、このどうにもならない暑さや湿気に慣れるのは無理だよな、と思った。
ケビンはいつもみたいに、ルナと会うのに決めてるお洒落なカフェに行って、いつもみたいに、外から見ても着てるもので彼女がいるのがはっきり分かった。ルナは誰が見ても超高そうな派手なオートクチュールを着ている。それは彼女の父親がどうしても着せたくて着せている。
中は凍るように冷房が効いてて、でもケビンは人間が息を吸ったり吐いたり意識しなくてもできるように、クレージーなくらいに暑い外から、凍るくらい寒い中に、意識しないで入ることができるワザを身につけた。
「ルナの、ここんとこの新しいフェチはなに？」
コーヒーがやってくる前にケビンは速攻でそう聞いた。
“What makes you ask that?” she said with a playful look in her eyes as she stirred her iced cappuccino with her straw.
Kevin knew all about her weird obsessions. That last one he remembered was the “tuxedo fetish”, as he called it. Any guy who wanted to sleep with her had to wear a tuxedo, which she would remove in bed to become aroused – the arousal heightening, he imagined, with each item of clothing removed.
Luna giggled and said, “Lately I’m obsessed with ‘hanketsu’ of young guys”
#######################
Kevin knew the word ‘hanketsu’ meant ‘judgment’ in Japanese so he was confused when he put the two together and came up with ‘a young guy’s judgment.’ Her giggling got louder as she watched the puzzled look appear on his face.
“Oh Kevin you’re such an expat.”
「え、なんでそんなこと聞くの？」
ルナは悪戯っぽくそう言って、アイスカプチーノのストローをグルグル回した。
ケビンは彼女の変なフェチをいっぱい知っていて、ついこの間のは「タキシードフェチ」だった。ルナと寝たい男はみんな、どっちにしろすぐ脱がされるのに、タキシードを着ないといけなかった。
ルナのくすくす笑い。「あのね、ここんとこは半ケツフェチ」
ケビンは「判決」がジャッジメントのことだと知ってたけど、そんなフェチってなに？ って意味が分からなかった。ケビンの不思議そうな顔を見て、ルナのくすくすがもっと大きくなった。
「もうケビンってば、ほんとに帰国子女なんだから」
Luna was Japanese but she grew up in Southern California and was a native English speaker. She was herself an expat and called Kevin when she missed speaking English.
Kevin’s Japanese was good, but it was the “textbook Japanese” he was learning at college and he wasn’t familiar with the latest slang.
According to Luna “hanketsu” meant literally “half-ass” which was not equivalent to the English slang “half-ass” but meant the top part of the ass that is shown when a some is wearing a bikini bottom that is too small or pants that are sliding down on the hips – basically the equivalent of “ass crack” in English slang. He understood the slang immediately when he realized that “han” was “half” and “ketsu” was “ass.”
ルナは日本人なんだけど、南カリフォルニアで育って英語はペラペラ。彼女だって帰国子女なんだけど、英語を喋りたくなったら、ケビンに電話して呼び出すことにしている。
ケビンは日本語だって上手なんだけど、大学で習ってる教科書みたいな日本語で、新しく発明された日本語はよく知らない。ケビンはよく考えてみたら、「半」が半分で、「ケツ」がお尻の意味だと気が付いた。
Rather than being embarrassed by this he was fascinated by her seemingly unlimited capacity for sexual fetishes. Luna’s lovers would now have to retire their tuxedos and wear bikini bottoms that displayed their ‘hanketsu’ for her.
“How on earth did you discover you had an attraction to ‘hanketsu?’”, he asked her.
She showed Kevin a video on YouTube. Six men were dancing and singing in different costumes. She pointed out the one in the middle who was wearing a stereotypical Native American costume.
こんなことで恥ずかしくなるより、ルナの想像を超えて果てしないセックスのフェチに感心した。ルナの恋人達は今や、タキシードを脱いで半ケツの水着を着ないといけない。
「その半ケツフェチってどっから出てきたの？」
ルナはYouTubeのビデオを見せてくれた。六人のいい大人の男達が、みんな違う変なコスチュームで歌ったり踊ったりしている。そして真ん中のネイティブインディアンのかっこをした人を指差した。
“Look,” she said, “when he shakes his ass you’ll see the cutest little ’hanketsu.’”
He was wearing only a bikini bottom under a skimpy loincloth.
“This ‘hanketsu’ guy’s name is Felipe Rose and he was with the 70s pop group ‘Village People’ who were famous for their disco hit ‘YMCA’”, she explained excitedly.
“His hanketsu really turns me on!”, she exclaimed.
“So now your boyfriends have to find a bikini like that?”
“Of course! And I’ve sent them this video so they’ll be prepared.”, she explained.
“By the way Kevin, could you buy me a copy of their movie? I’ll treat you to a coffee.”, she asked.
“I didn’t know they were in a movie. Well a movie’s gonna be more expensive than coffee, but I’ll get it for you anyway. The entertainment I’ve gotten from this conversation is more than worth it.”, Kevin replied.
Being gay he felt glad that he would never be a candidate for any of her sexual fetishes.
「ほらね、この人が腰を振ると超可愛い半ケツが見えるのよ」
その男はほとんど裸で、腰の周りに、ただほんのちょっとのひらひらしたものを着けてるだけ。
「この人の名前はフェリッペ・ローゼって言って、ビレッジ・ピープルっていう70年代のポップグループにいて、YMCAで有名な人達なの」
ルナは興奮を隠せず思いっ切り言った。
「この半ケツはね、ほんとにカッコいい」
（Part 2に続く）
Music: SEVENTEEN-HIT
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